I Will Forever Be a Work in Progress...
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I woke up one morning and realized I was missing. I laid in my bed in astonishment realizing that I was nothing like I ever was. I was a shell or a form. I had stopped painting and had no desire to pick up a brush. I rarely laughed. I no longer had the desire to help others with their spirituality. I had become a shopaholic, overeater and drinker. It took great effort for me to leave my house. Ten years before I was the leader of our Church's youth group, I volunteered whenever I could, I always had something in my head to paint or write. I worked hard and loved going out with friends. That morning I thought about it all. My children were out of the house and my first grandchild had just been born but I seemed to have lost something and it was something big.
A few months later my husband and I came to a mutual agreement that we should separate. I was sure we were going to work it out but I needed to be alone for a time to get myself out of the empty world I found myself in.
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As I began to feel stronger, truths that I had ignored began to surface. I went deeper into my journey. The first year was filled with my eyes opening up to my hidden truths. Sometimes I saw it when someone told me about an event that I had buried to forget, but most of the time I would be sitting in my living room or lying in bed and a light bulb would flash and I was faced with another truth.
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The Divine was constantly present during this time. He was compassionate enough to only give me what I could handle and as I was recovering from one realization, another one reared its ugly head. I had raw emotions during this time but I was constantly comforted by feeling His presence and knowing I was becoming stronger with every truth.
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When I finally thought I was going to be okay and knew it was time to move on, I focused on the inner me. I chose an unconventional method compared to my upbringing in an organized religious setting. I began reading, going on retreats, and seeing a spiritual healer. I discovered how I had lost myself and how I can return to me. As I went deeper, I began letting go of all my pain, forgiving all those who I allowed to hurt me, and found my love of self.
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It wasn't long before I heard the calling to share this with whoever was willing to go on this journey as well. A journey to heal themselves and to discover their true source of joy.
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Here I am today, after training and discovering so much, I am ready to share and encourage others to seek their joy, their peace and live in love and light.
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First and foremost, I believe the Divine is always within me.
He has held my hand to guide me along the a crowded path.
He has thrown open the doors and pushed me through.
He has slapped me with truths.
He has handed me my boxing gloves for my next battle.
He has filled my dreams with encouragement.
He has held me in his arms during my most loneliest of times.
He has pulled me up and out of the quicksand.
He has spoken to me.
I am strongest when I keep my mind and heart open to Him
I accept his angels, saints, and ascended masters who help in the tasks of protecting us,
and guiding us onto our chosen path.
So, therefore, through Him I live.
I'm of the belief that those who believe in a greater power, no matter how they label it, ultimately believe in the same Divine. This is my belief. Our connection to our spirituality is a personal relationship. How we celebrate and maintain our spirit is equally a personal journey and may be greatly different.
It's not an easy journey to our true self. It requires a strong determination to let go of past beliefs embedded in us through the influence others and our history. To move into our truest self, we must release ourselves of the narrative formed throughout our life. Change is always hard, even when you are faced with a promising future.
We have all had our battles throughout our life, some of us have felt his presence during the fight and other times, after the battle ends, we realize he was always within us the whole time but we had ignored Him. We have wounds, some are physical and scarred over and others are deeper, and harder to heal; but with forgiveness and faith the pain remains are in the past and stays out of our present. Some battles we’ve won and those we have lost sends us on paths we didn’t know we should travel.
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We have been hurt by others. Many of us know what heartache feels like. We can forgive but we don't have to forget or put ourselves in the path of further pain. Many of us realize that He does not want us to be hurt by others.
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Although we may doubt it, we all have the strength and abilities to seek out a life filled with the joys of being who we were born to be. I invite you to join me in discovering our greatest potential...
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